Tough love, tough learning

Chapter 1, Mishnah 13

הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, נָגֵד שְׁמָא, אָבֵד שְׁמֵהּ. וּדְלֹא מוֹסִיף, יָסֵף. וּדְלֹא יָלֵיף, קְטָלָא חַיָּב. וּדְאִשְׁתַּמֵּשׁ בְּתָגָא, חָלֵף :

He [also] used to say: one who makes his name great causes his name to be destroyed; one who does not add [to his knowledge] causes [it] to cease; one who does not study [the Torah] deserves death; one who makes [unworthy] use of the crown [of learning] he shall soon be gone.

L:  This appears to be all about self-aggrandizement.  In addition, while not learning Torah is terrible, even worse – it appears – is twisting the words of Torah to fulfil some sort of goal you might have.

H: You are twisting Torah and using it for your own purposes.

L: This warning makes me think of a politician running for office or a business person trying to sell you something with both using Torah to help close the deal, make the sale, convince you to vote for him or her.   Bunim says the following:

“He who makes a career of aggrandizement and seeks only popularity is doomed to disappointment. The headline hunter who desires only to achieve renown is chasing a will-of-the-wisp. The mases are notoriously fi9ckjle; the people’s choice changes and shifts like mercury. Popularity which is based on sensationalism will soon collapse. The name made great isa name destroyed. Today’s “headliner” is a in tomorrow’s wastebasket.”

…so that’s just about the first part of this Mishnah.

At the same time, this Mishnah is not referring to people who become famous because of who they are or because of their noble actions. For example, Albert Einstein received international renown for what he achieved, not because he sought it out.

H: No, he did not. Einstein was more of a humble person who just fell into this because of the work he did.

L: Right. As opposed to a Broadway headliner or a politician.

Then Bunim continues…

“The reverse interpretation is equally valid. ‘If you wish to make your name great, lose your name.’ Honor pursues those who flee from it. Be self-effacing, humble and modest. If you represent something of value, you will be discovered. Worth can make its own way in the world. The truly great names are not of people who seek popularity.”

  Let’s get back the grandchildren.  What if they come home and says to you or to their parents, these other kids were invited to the birthday party but I wasn’t.

It will not go well, if we tell a five- or six-year-old or a teenager, “Don’t worry. Honor will pursue you…”  I doubt they will accept this wise conclusion.

H: [laugher].  Good point.

L: How then do you talk to a grandchild so they really believe it?

H: How, I’m not sure. It is very difficult. You could try to tell them – in a way they would understand and can absorb…tell them try to set aside your own interests or wants for a bit. Try to be humbler, and you will see your true friendships become more meaningful. 

Admittedly, this still may be a difficult goal for a very young kid.

L: I agree with you.   

The next statement says that one who does not increase his Torah knowledge, decimates it.

Bunim has this to say:

“A man’s knowledge must keep step with his general development. It is considered an achievement when a one-year-old child begins to speak.  But we can hardly continue to admire the child of twelve for his ability to talk. If he has not progressed since one, the child is case of arrested development. Growing in age each day, the normal person must also grow in terms of experience. If his knowledge of Torah does not keep space and increase, then his is actually  retrogressing. He is losing ground.”

This part of the Mishnah offers a slightly more palatable pill to swallow – at least with regard to the young child.  What are your thoughts here?

H: That you have to develop, each of us in his own way.  But the child has to understand that there is a purpose to life and that he or she is a part of it.

L: Okay, this sounds big and grandiose.  So, how do you tell a child exactly that. How do you tell a child to reflect like this?

Maybe there is a way to make a game out of this?

H: Yes, so they can participate in this, make this a game of discovery of some sort.  

L: Make it a guessing game. Ask the child, for instance, what was it that so-and-so did, or what Moshe did, or Avraham the patriarch did that allowed him to go the next level (sort of like a video game)?

One of the last items in the Mishnah – and probably the biggest, toughest pill for a child to swallow – says “one who does not learn Torah deserves death.” 

Once again, let’s call upon Bunim. He says,

“Our Torah tells us that there is a purpose in this world. The goal of man is to study and observe the Torah, and in this way to grow in spirituality. This is the purpose for which he was created. Should he, therefore, cease to learn he forfeits the right to exist – his raison d’etre.”

H: That is certainly not easy for a child to digest. Even for an adult it’s not easy.

L: So let’s dial it down a bit. Instead of saying “death,” just say good things will not happen…

H: But that’s not really what the words mean.  Again, this is not easy for an adult to appreciate, let alone for a teenager or a child.

I pose the question to you: How do you convey the meaning [of the harsh message] here in a way that the child will understand and abide by?   I really don’t know what the answer is.

L: Towards the end of the commentary, Bunim has something to say that may make this conclusion more palatable.  He says…

“One more nuance of meaning can be found in this text if we translate yalef as “teach” rather than study: “He who does not teach deserves to die.” There are scholars who know the Torah but are selfish in their knowledge. They keep it all to themselves and refuse to impart it to others or even to share it with others. But Torah is life! And to deprive others of Torah is to deprive them of life itself.  Hence to be capable of teaching and yet to refuse to do so is, in a sense, to commit murder. “He who does not teach deserves to die.”

L: That’s still pretty tough.

H: I agree.

L: Listening to Bunim, I conjure up the image of a Tzadik Im Peltz, a scholar who learns but does not share his or her knowledge with others.

H: Yes, but still a difficult message to deliver to a teenage grandchild, for instance.

L: No way around it, I would rate this Mishnah PG or perhaps even R for its harsh core message.   This may one of those Mishnayot that you say, “Let’s put it on the shelf until junior reaches age 20. Then, maybe we something to talk about to a person who can accept the message.”

Now, the very last part of the Mishnah and talks about “weaponizing” the Torah for selfish purposes.  According to Bunim, this kind of abuse of the Torah is what caused the destruction of Jerusalem.

Any final thoughts?

H: This Mishnah is not uplifting. It’s perplexing. How do you go about following these learning and teaching guidelines – or the shortfall.  What does this suggest about people, in general. 

L: Compared to the last Mishnah, which felt more like a Walt Disney production when compared to this one. Mishnah 13 is more like a Film Noir, a very dark negative view of mankind.  Maybe we have to cast a harsh eye on ourselves. After all, the Torah is not mostly not about pretty things and happy endings.

H: The Torah is a demanding body of law.